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i need something...anything - Leyla Crazi [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Leyla Crazi

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i need something...anything [Sep. 22nd, 2005|12:19 am]
Leyla Crazi
[State Of Mind |contemplativecontemplative]
[Music To My Ears |bright eyes]

its almost 12 and im done babysitting wide awake and depressed and i dont even know why. I'm about to burden you with my thoughts but i have no one to talk to and i need to let it out. I get this way from time to time its so strange to me b/c im so happy at this point in my life. We'll with him at least, he make me happy. Hes my good feeling. I've just been thinking about my future and it seems like what i've wanted for so long doesn't even interest me anymore its almost like im lost with no direction i want so much yet my goels seem unreachable. Like a dream, cuz in dreams you always wake up. I hate college its not me but what else is there for me to do? i dont know. I guess this is what happens when i spend to much time alone with myself i think too much. I took the time to read a lot of my writing from years ago and saw how upsetting my life used to be, how much i just literally felt like dying and i dont want to go back to that place. So many people have brought me down through out the years and i've seemed to bring myself backup a bit. I like the person i am, but i dont know where this person is heading. I keep thinking what if i dont get married, if i dont have the babies i've dreamed of my whole life, what if i never do anything with this life. Maybe i just need to save up and disappear, start something new. I dont know anymore i just dont. I know i need something...anything.
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Comments:
From: yourheadmyvoice
2005-09-25 03:54 pm (UTC)
you really have no reason to be thinking like that, ie - how you're scared to go back to that "place" where you felt like dying. you're problems are so minimal really when compared to a bigger scheme of things...come on nicole! and shit...who cares if you never get married or never have kids? not that it won't happen, but you're so fucking young to be thinking about shit like that now...seriously. i doubt a geographical cure will help much, you'll just end up running into the same problems, you know? different people, different place, same shit. someone once told me...when it comes down to it, no one but yourself can make you happy. it's true. anyway, enough with that shit. go put in sticks and stones and reminisce.
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From: yourheadmyvoice
2005-09-25 03:55 pm (UTC)
what the fuck, stop listening to bright eyes too! that depressing bastard
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[User Picture]From: itsthemusic247
2005-09-25 05:01 pm (UTC)
brian i fucking love you...i miss my one true friend...thanks for the advice i know i can always count on you for that. I MISS YOU! Luv ya!
P.S. Sticks and stones is going into my cd player right now
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